I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
