I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
