shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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