just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
