So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
