I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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