i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
