She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
