So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize