when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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