I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize