Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
