Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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