we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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