im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
