whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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