Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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