She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
