We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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