No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Vodka?
Forever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
