I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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