Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
