Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
