with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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