? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The Olympian is in my bed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
