There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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