check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize