LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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