you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
