If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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