please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
