Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize