The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
