Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
