dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
