No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How naked do you want me to be?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
