I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
