didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
