just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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