i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
