I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
