Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize