i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
