Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize