i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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