There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
