On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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