Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
