How'd it feel making her break her religion?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize