so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize