Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
