i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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