The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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