Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
