is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize