I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
