what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
