Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
