I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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