so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
