and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
