Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize