Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
