Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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