Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
