Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
