So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize