Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
