WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
