nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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