I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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