She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
