She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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