3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
