You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
