Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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