I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
