Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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