where does the pee come out of this thing
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
