Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
