xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
