Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
