This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
