i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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