I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
