Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize