I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize